The 5 Love Languages

What is the 5 Love Languages? According to Gary Chapman in his website, love language is an analysis to prepare you for your emotional communication preference. Love language allows you to connect with your love one with intimacy and fulfillment.

In my personal opinion, love language actually helps you to understand you and your partner better and do according to his/her needs. It also helps you to understand how can you feel more love from your partner; and vice versa. In short, what would make you feel that "you are loved"? Basically, love language helps you and your partner to fulfill each other's needs.

Different people have different needs from the love one to make them feel that they are loved. Some need gifts and romantic surprises. Some need conversation and words affirmation from their partners. And some just need their partner's presence "to be there" which symbolize "to support".

A lot of times, we didn't realize that we do things that our partner doesn't like us to do to them. Most importantly, we didn't realize we had accidentally done things which are hurtful to them. Words like "i hate you" or "other guys are more handsome than you" will really hurt for some people even if you're just playing a joke. For some people, they are expecting at least a small gift from you on occasion. Without a little gift, they will think that you don't love them. For some people, a touch or a hug can mean a lot to them. The day which you don't give them a hug, it will be very hurtful for them.

In our daily life, we always do our best for our partner to make them feel loved. So, we will always try to do different things to impress them, surprise them, and to show them that you love them. But the question will be always, "what can i do to make my partner feel love from me?" Well, now with the help of love language, it will help you to understand your partner better.

Now, let me introduce you the 5 Love Languages:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.


Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love language will explain much of your past behavior. You may think back over the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love.

You may also take the 5 Love Language test to find out better about yourself. Please do encourage your partner to do as well. Discuss your difference and see what can both of you do to make each other "feel loved".

All the best!